What’s up wordpress? Been quite a minute since I’ve had the luxury of writing something here. It’s been 3 months into the new year and I have been working, working, working. Looking back at my blogs from last year, seems like I had a lot more time during the beginning of the year than I do this year. SO what is up… well…
I still have my job for one thing. Yay. This coming June will be my 1 year at a legit company and will officially be my second longest job I’ve held. I’ve made tons of friends there, and I’ve also lost tons of friends there. Either through quitting, being let go or by just not showing up anymore. Lol. Proud to say I’ve made 2 friends for life working there; well, for now that is. I mean, I have a lot of friends, but usually they are just the ‘good time’ friends, you know, the ones who are always down to drink after work, go have some happy hour etc. But I would say there’s only two that are more than just ‘good time’ friends – both know something about me that I don’t just tell anyone. Not bad, just something that I don’t tell random people.
Lets face it – I’m not here to talk about work, or my friends, or who I’m dating (no one atm, and I suppose that’s a story for another time). I wouldn’t say I’m depressed per say, but I am somewhat slightly melancholy for some reason. I mean, nothing bad has happened, just this feeling that I have about things, like life, where I’m going, who’s going to be there with me, family etc. I’ve learned that when I’m ‘down in the dumps’, I have this tendency to buy things I don’t necessarily need… And I know that I don’t need them per say, but I would like to have them. For example, I just bought a brand new lap top. An actual, 2015 manufactured lap top. My first laptop in college was a no name brand cheapy lap top. I mean it was great – it got me through notes and typing out papers, but other than that, it couldn’t really do anything else. So, I decided to upgrade my self, and bought a mid range all arounder laptop. It can play the latest games on medium setting, fast enough to run office and other memory intensive programs, faster wi-fi, 1080p 17 inch screen. But the thing is, I’ve used it less than 10 times and I just got this almost a month ago. Then I bought an iPad mini 2 (yes I know the 4 is out), but after reading the specs and comparing it to the 3 and 4, the only difference between the 2 and the 3 is the finger print reader and a 70 price difference. Then the difference between the 3 and 4 is a 0.02 g on processing power and a small difference in mega pixel, oh, and about 100 dollars also. So, I went with the 2 since its not even that behind the 4. BUT I already have an iPad 2 (when it first came out). So now I have an iPhone 6plus, iPad mini 2 and an iPad 2. And yet I still feel empty.
Oh here’s the kicker – I just bought a 34′ ultra widescreen monitor to replace the 27′ monitor I have. And yet…
Yeah. I still feel empty. And that’s how I know there is something wrong with me. I’m not depressed, just, I feel empty, like, even though most of the goals I set for myself last year I was able to accomplish, I feel that as of right now, nothing has happened… And yes, I know that it starts with me, just, for some reason I just feel empty.
Sometimes I feel like its because there’s no one I can go to to talk about all the shit that bothers me. Everyone can go to me for anything – I’m a great listener, yet I can’t go to anyone for my shit. Not even someone close to me because sometimes its about them. I mean, how do you talk to someone you are close with and the shit you need to talk about is about them?
Well I guess this is why I have a blog, so I can get all this shit off my chest to some computer screen. For another time, I guess. My fingers are tired and I stopped watching the walking dead because I don’t want to know what’s going to happen to ricks group! Arrrgghh… I’ve read the comics and I don’t want to see it on screen. ^___^
I know I’ll get over whatever this is. In time. Maybe a couple days. Maybe. Sigh. Just wish I wrote in here before I went on that tech shopping spree -___-