I did it

BUT not in the way I intended to. Guess this is the running trend nowadays huh? Ahaha. Anyway, I knew this was my last shot and I was not going to miss it.

It occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to catch her alone anytime and with it being weird if I just randomly went to her side of the room and just bluntly asked her. So when first break came along, I went out with the homegirl to smoke/vape and talked about our ‘situations’ – her being that dude she asked out and was going to hang out with after work and the girl that I was going to ask out. Consensus? Just DO IT. One and done right?

At the same time, I was also talking to the new girl, which, btw, I love how open she is – she has such a ‘idgaf’ attitude and is actually comfortable to be around/talk with. It’s weird, I only talked to her once about a tv show and now we’re talking like we’ve known eachother for a bit. Let’s bring it back a little though – last week I went over to the far end of the room to talk to the other squad and she walked by and poked me. So I said what’s up and she said heeeey and walked away. Before that I had only had a 3 minute conversation with her. So she’s an interesting one. I tried asking her to go out with me tonight (no not a consolation date) but she was already busy going to all the haunted attractions around town. Seems like she really wants me to go with her and some ppl to the haunted hotel tomorrow night, but one, its downtown and two, the haunted hotel sucks; I’ve been to it numerous times and it doesn’t scare me. I didn’t want to tell her it sucked since she’s never gone haha. My friends end up putting me in front since I don’t scare easily and I just walk them thru the whole thing. LAAAAME.

ANYWAY, back to the main story, I realized before lunch that since I wouldn’t be able to talk to her one on one, that the next best thing I could do was email her. I know, lame. So I concocted a plan of action – since she had replied to me yesterday about not being able to go out and I didn’t respond, I would play it off and say ‘my bad, I thought I responded to this yesterday. some coworkers on yellow team are going to dnb’s later, you want to come with?’. I had written something similar to this at 1pm and told myself to send it to her at 115. 115 came and I didn’t send it. I literally hovered the cursor over the send button from 110 – 115 just staring at what I wrote, whether or not it was ok to send blah blah blah. Fuck it. I sent it. It was 116. Then 2 minutes later she responded. Wow, that was fast. Is that a good thing? Did she even take time to think about going or just went ew I’m not going to go with you?

Well, apparently she’s moving or something and she would be packing her stuff this weekend so she won’t be able to make it. I replied back something, don’t remember and she replied back and that was it.

Could’ve would’ve should’ve? Nope. I asked, she answered, that was the end of it. If in some miraculous way she shows up tonight anyway because she’s bored or finished packing, that would totally make my night. Or even if I found another girl to hang out with, since I wouldn’t be the 5th wheel anymore hahah.

Wishful thinking, I know. But it doesn’t hurt to hope for the best right?

Well that was a nerve wracking last two days for nothing. At least I somewhat went after what I wanted, although not in full force like I intended to, its still something I wouldn’t have done normally and I am glad I did; it shows that I’m willing to break out more of my comfort zone and not admit ‘defeat’ and take the ‘easy’ way out like I used to do. Woop there it is.


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