I feel that balance should be brought back after yesterday’s vulgar fueled stand up tirade about the types of girls I’ve met online dating. Yes there is truth in it and I know that sometimes when you are a little buzzed (I got the urge to finish off a bottle of soju from cinco de mayo that my mom thought was aloe vera drink instead of throwing it away), ‘great‘ ideas just pop into your head… and I was bored practicing for the GMATs. Looking back on it now on this cold, gloomy morning, a part of me kind of wished I toned it down a bit. Kind of. Anyway, like I said, the force was strong with the dark side yesterday (I actually prefer the empire but that’s for another story) and balance must be brought back if only to ensure the peaceful coexistence of my blogs. (Edit: I actually wanted to do this at the 6 month mark of online dating, but seeing how it’s around 5.5 months already, hey, why not?)
SOME REAL HONEST ONLINE DATING OBSERVATIONS
ONLINE SAUSAGE FEST – MEN OUTNUMBER WOMEN 7:1 OR 10:1 OR 100:1
One does not simply try to compete with those numbers without feeling discouraged. Or destroyed. I have a couple of girl friends who can back me up on this (if it isn’t obvious to even the most casual online dater) that there are indeed more guys than girls. Some girls don’t even need to put anything on their ‘About Me’ section because there are so many guys and, guys being guys, will message anyone with a pretty picture (except maybe me). That’s like applying for a job and only writing your name on your resume while at the same time, before you’ve even sent in your resume, you are hired. How? Who knows? How do you get a girl to talk to you without knowing anything about her? I’ll be honest: I don’t play games. I never have and I never will. I’ve only dated/gotten into relationships the normal way, you know, face to face. I’ve never ‘landed’ a date with a girl online yet. I think part of the reason why is this: say the ratio of guys to girls is 10:1 on a certain dating site. That means for every 1 girl, there are 10 guys looking to land a date with her. Let’s say of those 10 guys, 5 of them are only in it to smash. Now, they message her rude comments and/or dick pics (or so I’ve been told) and they immediately get blocked. Now, being the girl in that situation, it understandably lessens your view on guys on dating sites. The girl thinks all guys are like this. Now, say the other 4 guys are the ones who say they don’t want to just hook up, that they are looking for ‘more’ than just a couple dates, that they accept you for who you are etc. You know, those guys who are the smoothest talkers known to man who know when/how to say anything to a girl to get with her. They might go along for the ride initially, like going to the movies, taking her out to dinner etc. But once the deed is done, they’re out. These 4, along with the previous 5, leave such a bad taste in a girl’s mouth (so to speak) that she just assumes that every ‘nice’ guy, no matter how genuine he seems, is a dick. Then, there’s that one, last guy out of the 10. The one guy who actually wants to be in a relationship with a great girl and is serious about ‘love’. So, this guy meets the girl whose already met dickbutts 1-9 and she is either very wary of him or gives him no time of day simply because he may have used similar words/phrases/sentences that the previous dickbutts used, even though he honestly just came up with it on the spot. So, no matter if it’s dickbutts 1-9 or dickbutts 1-99, the real dudes, like me, have them to thank for ruining our chances at dating. Thanks, dickbutts.
EVEN IF YOU LIVE IN THE SAME AREA SHE/HE WOULD STILL RATHER TALK TO YOU ONLINE THAN MEET UP FOR COFFEE
I never really understood this concept. Maybe because I really am old-fashioned and would just love to cut out the middle man (ie. online dating), but I think if we are near each other it’s a lot better to just meet up in person, have some coffee (or in my case, boba) and see if we hit it off. If not, then move on! It’s faster than playing online tag and helps with face to face interaction. Studies show that having actual face to face interaction and having random conversation will increase happiness 60% of the time, every time. Yes, that is an original line that I used to ask a girl who lived near me to go and meet up. Maybe have some boba. She’ll never know. Why, what happened? Nothing, that’s what happened. I’m sure she’s just not going to talk to me again because who needs to meet in person when I got the comfort of the internet? I guess the humor of Anchorman simply escapes her. Maybe she doesn’t even live in Sahn Deeyahgoe. Maybe she’s really a dude. Or a tranny. Anyway, feel free to use it, it didn’t work for me, maybe it will for you. But really, if a girl/guy would rather keep talking to you online and not want to meet in person then he/she is probably not worth your time. Or they might be a wo/man. Or a bot. Or maybe I’m just naive and I really am the only one who thinks the only way to get to know someone and/or to see if you are compatible is having real life conversations.
Oh the ever popular fake profile. I’m sure girls have this problem too, where they find someone so awesome, so nice looking (not too hot, not too… not?), strike up a conversation with them, everything is going great and then all of a sudden they’re gone. Gone? What do you mean gone? Gone as in ‘Gone with the Wind‘ gone. Gone as in ‘Gone in 60 Seconds‘ Gone. Gone as in… ok you get the idea. This is most likely a fake profile. The profile that is manned by a man posing as a woman or a woman posing as a man. Or a dude dressed as another dude playing a woman. Or, in some other cases, a BOT that is programmed to answer/ask questions as humanly as possible. That hasn’t happened to me yet so I wouldn’t know, but I feel I have talked to at least one fake profiler. You can tell if they’re profile is fake because, One, their pictures are a little too good to be true. I don’t care who you are, if you take quality level Terry Richardson headshots/bodyshots, then you have a fake profile. If your profile pic is on par with a Victoria’s Secret fashion shoot then it’s probably a fake profile. There is simply is no way that you look that good. Unless you are a model, but let’s be real: if you’re a model why would you be on a lowly dating site? Two, there is usually only one picture of them and it’s their default profile picture. Anyone who is anyone would want to have more than one picture. It’s just natural. Maybe the first picture wasn’t as good as your second, but you like your second because the lighting is just right. My motto is one and done: One picture, done picture. Three, they have absolutely nothing on their profile. If their profile is just one, high quality profile picture, then they are most likely fake. No descriptions on height? hair color? what they are looking for? Fake. Four, if they have an absuredly long profile, detailing their whole life story in 5-6 paragraphs, double spaced APA format, then they could be fake. I say could because you never know, they could just love talking about themselves or they just want to seem like they are a real person by overwriting about themselves. Five, they ‘like’ you, ‘view’ you or ‘message’ you, then when you go back an hour or two later they are gone. This has happened quite a few times to me. A random girl would message me/view me and when I go on to see who viewed me/messaged me, they are gone. Who know’s what happened to them. I sure don’t. Maybe they were bots. Maybe they were trying to practice their robot english. Who knows.
That’s all folks! Has balance been restored? Can anyone else relate?