Romantic Musings (part 3, end)

Destiny? No? Ok ok ok… Ahem.

relationshipxShe ended up replying, with this: “I actually remember this guy I met while I was on the register one day. I noticed him when he came in and when he waited in line. I know it sounds real corny, but I was actually trying to hurry up/slow down the people I was ringing out just so maybe I could ring him out. I actually was a bit late in finishing up with a customer when my friend at the time said she could help him. I don’t know why but I ended up saying I could help him here and I did. I think he tried to make small talk with me but I was nervous or something so I wasn’t really talkative. I did notice though that he wore hollister and thought, maybe I’ll see him again. Hollister dude is what I called him since I didn’t get his name. After that, I never saw him again…

And then, it all came together. We met up for coffee up in Irvine (since its sort of half way between us) and from there we’ve been inseparable ever since…

…And that, my friends, is only in a universe of what could/would be. Unfortunately, it was all a simple day dream, really, or rather, a romantic muse. An M. Night Shayamalamadingdong twist ending. (refer to left picture). mniteA split second, romantic daydream of fact, filled with the fictional possibility of what could be… Yes, there really is a girl named Jennifer. Yes I did come across her on match, no I didn’t waste $39.99 on a one month subscription (although I am seriously considering it just to find out) and yes, she did go to CSULA. It was at this point that, from when I saw where she went to college and scrolling back up to her profile picture, did I instantly have a mini daydream of what could happen if the universe really worked in mysterious ways. Mysterious ways that were in my favor. It was at this moment that, for a split second that I believed in destiny (not the game), that everything will come together, that all the pieces will fit. And at the same time within that split second, I knew that it wasn’t. It can’t. It won’t. Because, friends, your world is what you make of it. The people around you, the experiences, the good times, the bad, the opportunities, the missed opportunities: they are all yours to shape. There is no external hand that guides you to the ‘right’ path or the wrong path. YOU choose your path. You can day dream and you can wish all you want: but nothing comes from nothing. If you don’t put in the time, you aren’t going to ge tthe time. There’s no take backsies, no cuts no butts no peanut butter haircuts. I used to read those ‘read your own adventure’ books as a child. I would place my finger on the page I was on and go to the page I chose and used my finger as a bookmark: if I didn’t like what happened on that page, I would go back and take the next page, the next route, the next choice. And that’s what I’ve been doing ever since. I’ve never been able to keep on one path. Once I find something I don’t like, I can’t deal with, I backtrack to the beginning and take the other path. The other choice. The problem is that I’ve always had 2 choices. The problem is that because I’ve always had 2 choices I’ve never given my all to the choice I was currently on. I guess what I’m getting at is, if you are going to do something, anything, don’t half ass it, jump in with both feet and just go HAM. Go hard or go home. Hard to take my own advice sometimes, but I try, I really do.

I’ve been studying for the GMAT for the last couple days and holy shit, is it one test I do not want to take again. The LSAT was similar to this, which I did take, years ago. The difference this time, is that I know now, what I should have known before; I’m not going to half-ass the review process and just be wishy washy and fall back to the beginning yet again. Always starting but never finishing. I’ve learned that it’s better to start and finish, yet fail at it than to always start, never finishing and never knowing what COULD/WOULD have been. I’m officially going to be a hermit for the next 28 days. I will eat, sleep, breath GMAT until I shit nothing but GMAT. Then take the GMAT, get a great score and never look back at taking it again. That’s my goal, at least. (advance apologies to any of my friends who read this. I’ll be social again, just give me a couple weeks haha)

Well… this has been a somewhat productive use of my break time hahaha. But damn, wouldn’t it be nice if… nah




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