So! This is the (online) dating blog. In my opinion, 90% of the girls (in my case) are/were: fake (fake profiles), users who no longer use the service, ‘plants’ by the service to entice you into ‘paying’ to use their site, girls who ‘say’ they are looking for a ‘relationship’ but are really on there to see how many guys will talk to them, ego boosters. 10% of the time the girls were genuine, real, non-planted by the company girls that were looking for the same thing: a relationship. I don’t to seem vain or douche-y, they weren’t my type. Am I picky? Hell yeah I am picky. Why would you want to settle for less? No one should. Are girls picky? Hell yeah they are. So maybe that explains the 10% ‘success’ rate. Also, simply saying “Hi, how’s it going?” or “Hi there” or “Hi, you are beautiful” or simply saying “Hi” doesn’t cut it anymore apparently. I read somewhere that most girls don’t even respond to a ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’. Since when did the universal greeting of ‘Hi’ and ‘Hello’ or ‘What’s up how’s it going’ become grounds to not respond or even block the other person? So you are telling me, that if you meet a woman on the street and want to say ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’ you have to come up with something better than that greeting? Yeah, I’ll get into more on that later. In general, there are a lot of different girls/profiles to sit through, however, trying to discern who is ‘real’ is part of the dating ‘grind’. Like when you grind for exp. Random encounters? Yeah, its a bitch both IG and IRL. The following are my experiences with each of the dating services I used.
(Note: Obviously this is from a guys perspective. I am 110% sure that girls experience the same things as well. Also, this is all from 2-3 months of being on these sites)
Signed up: December 2014
OkCupid. The first dating site that I signed up for. It’s free, so its got that going for it. And when I say ‘free’, it really is free. You literally sign up, answer a few (too many) relationship questions, put up a pic and you are good to go. You can message whoever, whenever. I don’t even know why you would want to pay for it. Maybe I’m missing something. Oh yes. If you want to narrow down your searches even more or simply ‘boost’ your profile, then you have to become a premium subscriber. Like I mentioned in my first blog about OkCupid, I was able to contact one girl during Christmas of last year and after 2 messages that was it. Since then, no one. No. One. Now, plenty of profiles say they are ‘looking for relationships’ but the trend that I’ve noticed is that it’s just something to say. Doesn’t necessarily mean said girl is looking for one. Which I have no idea why, if you are just here to fuck then say so? The ‘matches’ on OkCupid are ok. Most of the time you get matched with users who don’t use the site anymore or who rarely go online. There are different color codes representing the frequency of girls getting back to messages. It is directly under each of their pictures when you are looking for matches. Green means that they reply/respond frequently. Orange/Yellow means they ‘selectively’ respond to messages. And Red, well, Red is a color you will be seeing 95% of the time. This means that they never reply to any messages. This, like I said above, goes into how its a ‘popularity contest/ego boost’ for them (girls and guys) to see who messages/likes them. Other than that, the great thing about OkCupid is that you can send messages with no subscription. The other 5% are real girls who are looking for something real and do want to talk to, just probably, like you, are picky and won’t want to respond to you.
Pros: Able to message anyone, anytime without a subscription, its actually free and they don’t force you to pay for anything else, good number of profiles (of girls, I don’t know about guys), it has a personality ‘test’ to filter out potential matches (I say ‘test’ lightly because it really is just a bajillion questions that you answer with no categories at all until you answer all of them. You don’t even have to answer all of them.)
Cons: Even though there are a lot of profiles, I would say a good half of them are deactivated profiles that are still there for some reason and a lot of girls who are on it for the wrong reasons.
Verdict: OkCupid is just ok. If you are new to ‘online dating’ then I would say start here and try this out, because it only goes downhill from here folks.
Signed up: Week of January 26
Plenty of Fish (POF). The second site I signed up for because a friend of mine told me that she met her bf on the site. So I figure, hey, maybe it will be better than OkCupid. Right? First off, the site is more restrictive than OkCupid. Yes, it’s free to an extent, as is the trend with the remaining online dating sites. I created a profile and made my first search. One of the good things about POF is that you can narrow down your searches more than OkCupid without paying. You can set the body type, ethnicity etc. unlike the latter. Also, when you search you can narrow it down by selecting ‘last visited’ which will give you a better clue on how much they go on their profile. Another ‘good’ thing, if it can be good, is that you are notified when someone is interested in you by email. You get a notification on your phone saying that ‘so and so’ is interested in you. So what you do is you go to your email, copy the name of the person in question, go to POF and do a reverse search of the screen name and you found the person who ‘likes’ you. If not, then you will be brought to a page that says ‘Subscribe now to view everyone who likes you!’ or something like that. Is that a loophole? Who knows but it works. Messages are free also and you can message anyone at anytime. POF suffers from the same thing that plagues other dating sites: it does not seperate the deactivated/no longer online users from those that are online. So at most you will get around 3-4 pages of profiles who were recently online or online within the week and then 10+ pages of profiles that ‘were online’ at some point, maybe last year, 2 years ago, 5 years ago that are no longer active but still show up in search. The response rates from the girls that I messaged were around 50%, which is better than OkCupid, but I guess that’s just relative to the site, just figured I’d mention it. The number of girls on POF that were actually looking for a relationship and not just ‘saying’ they wanted one, in my opinion, was a little higher than OkCupid. As far as profiles go, you can write a lot more than OkCupid and most of the girls put a little more thought into their profile than those on OkCupid.
Pros: Somewhat free, able to message anyone at anytime without subscribing, profiles are more thought/fleshed out (some, not all), seems like the majority of girls on there are indeed serious (at least more than OkCupid), the survey questions to match you with potentials is a lot better than OkCupid (they have 4 personality tests while OkCupid has a bajillion random questions)
Cons: Boasts a high amount of active users but it doesn’t seem like it, plenty of deactivated profiles/non used/fake profiles that still show up in search, only time you have to subscribe is when someone is interested in you (you can’t see who it is until you subscribe). Didn’t find anyone. Why? 😥
Verdict: If you get tired of OkCupid and its bland white and blue color scheme, jump over to POF for a white and emerald/seafoam green site, where it is a lot brighter and doesn’t feel like you’re staring at a dungeon the whole time you are there. On a serious note, I say try it out. For exactly 5 days. You will get real tired of it. Trust me.
Signed up: Week of January 19
Match.com. Everyones favorite well known dating site! Now begins the restrictions that most of these dating sites are known for. Registration is simple, easy. No personality test, just answer a couple questions on your profile page, such as interests and hobbies (which you don’t really have free reign to do, they have a ton of boxes you can check to say that you are ‘interested’). Then you write down a quick personal summary abouty you like you do with all dating sites and you begin your foray into match.com. When you finish registering, they ask you to upload a picture, which takes around 30min to a couple hours for it to be ‘approved’. Ok, thats cool, they are making it legit so users are ‘real’. As soon as you do that you get 10 ‘matches’ to show interest in. Normally, everyone says yes to all of them because how can they know what you are interested in? Now these 10 matches are usually new users who signed on recently as 2-3 days ago. Your own profile is probably being used as a potential ‘match’ when someone new signs up also. After that, you can begin your search for a match. The search feature is one of the things that makes this site better than most. You can select through a multitude of choices, from ethnicity, body type, income, interests, etc. and you can also just search for a single thing you may have in common. For example, I used the search feature to filter out all girls within a 100 mile radius who listed ‘video games’ as one of their likes. So instead of having 20 pages of girls who have other interests besides video games, 5 pages popped up specifically for girls who put video games as an interest. You can do this for other interests also. Only like girls who play basketball? You can search for only them too. You can also filter out the most recent from the ones who never go on. Like most dating sites, Match doesn’t remove profiles of users who no longer use the service, but at least they let you know around how long they have been on. Like OkCupid, under each profile is a litte date stamp letting you know when said person was on. It can range from ‘Today!’ to ‘Within 3 days!’ all the way to ‘Within 1/2/3 weeks’ and ‘Over 3 weks’. Hey, at least they are making an effort to show you who is active/uses the site instead of making you wonder if they will ever read your message. Which brings me to my next issue: you have to be a member to send/read messages. Bummer, I know. But, they do offer 3 and 7 day free trials, so if you can find free trial codes you are good to go for 7 days. Then you can message your heart out to any and all profiles. The catch? Unless they are a member or have a free trial they can’t read your message. Thats where they get you. The most you can do is ‘wink’ or ‘favorite’ said profile. But even then, if you aren’t a member or the other person isn’t a member, they can’t see who favorite/winked at them and vice versa. I guess they have to make money somehow right?
Pros: Best search feature of all the sites I signed up for, has more active profiles than any of the sites I signed up for, girls on there seem more mature and truthful as to what they want
Cons: You have to pay to send and read messages, you have to pay to see who ‘winked’, ‘favorited’, ‘liked’, is ‘interested’ and who wants to ‘meet’ with you, I’ve read complaints how they charge you recurringly without notice even if you do find someone through the site and close your account (apparently you have to make sure you receive a ‘deactivation code’ for it to be legitimate. If you don’t they will charge you up the butt), some fake profiles (mostly deactivated profiles of older users but are being used with ‘updated’ info and no picture. For example, I came across this profile that stated “I am a 20 something looking for someone in the LA area”, but their info before reading their personal summary says “30yr old, San Francisco”. What the hell?).
Verdict: If you want to live on the edge for 7 days go for it. It’s free; just make sure you cancel your card before the 7th day or you will get charged. After those 7 days its not really worthwhile anymore. It just becomes a glorified dating Facebook.
Signed up: February 1
Zoosk. Oh I hate Zoosk. If Zoosk was a person and they were burning in front of me I would not pee on them to save them. I hate to even write a review about my time on Zoosk. If I could teach the whole world one lesson, it would be to never, ever, ever, ever, ever sign up for Zoosk. Ever. Zoosk is a money grabbing site that grabs money from any and all open orifii that you have. Literally. Anything you do you have to pay for. Let’s get this over with (wish I had a drink for this…). I sign up for Zoosk. Same schpeel as the other sites. Name, picture, answer compatibility questions. Then you are off on your own to find the woman of your dreams. Not! As soon as you sign up and answer those compatibility questions you have a few options to use to find matches. One, you can search and two, you can play the carousel game. Let’s start there. The carousel game is like Tinder. You see one picture and their age. You can swipe right or left (or click yes or no or maybe) if you are interested in said picture. If you are, you get one coin. If not, you get no coin. You have a limit of 40 coins per day. What are these coins I speak of? Do you use them to buy armor at the store? Potions at the apothecary? NO! You use coins to either ‘unlock’ a mutually matched profile found through the carousel game or use it to buy virtual gifts, such as a rose or teddy bear or flowers and send it to someone you like WHERE THEY WILL NEVER EVER FIND OUT WHO SENT THEM THE GIFT. Yes, you will never, ever know who’s sent you gifts. Ever. No way, no how. They just randomly pop up on your profile page with no way of telling who sent them. Even Zoosk support can’t tell you. What? The search feature is like a mix of OkCupid and Match: You get the wide reaching search function of match with the abundance of fake/deactivated/un-used/scam profiles of OkCupid. Yes you can limit the age of potential matches like the other sites, but even then it’s plagued with fake profiles of any age! How do I know they are fake or deactivated? I will talk about that in a minute. Around 95% of profiles that I searched/looked at didn’t look legit, like something was off. Maybe it was the bad engrish in their profile summary (no they weren’t asian)? Maybe it was the lack of a summary at all? Maybe it was the fact that they only had one picture up? Oh sure they have ‘verifications’ to tell if you are real or fake but c’mon, you can fake a phone number, you can have a fake facebook account and a fake twitter account. Many don’t have the ‘facial recognition’ verification portion anyway. Now for the best part! You can’t send messages, you can’t receive messages, you can’t view messages which is the most imporant thing in a dating site until you pay a whopping $29.99 for a one month subscription. How is this different from Match.com? At least on match you have a 7 day free trial membership and can put two and two together as to who liked/viewed you. But no, not on Zoosk! Oh and heres the kicker: just because YOU are a member doesn’t mean you can send messages to ANYONE. If the person you SENT a message to is NOT a member, then you are FUCKED. You just wasted $29.99 + $20.00 one time activation fee for nothing! No I did not pay them I refused to get suckered in. I say suckered because one, the most you can do is ‘wink’ and send ‘gifts’. If you choose to do either, sometimes you get an automatic reply from the person. An automatically generated ‘response’ to winks/gifts which makes it seem as though said person is interested and makes you want to read what they said back to you. But you have to pay. And if they aren’t members blah blah blah you know the deal. Also, it is a known fact that they use bots and plants in their profile to generate money from first time subscribers. Plants meaning people who work for Zoosk to send messages/wink at people in hopes to get them to sign up. For a whole month I was labeled ‘unpopular’ by Zoosk (thanks alot assholes) and then all of a sudden for one week straight I am getting ‘views’ and ‘winks’ from everyone and their mothers?? If that doesn’t smell like bullshit to you then you’ve probably never been around cows in your life. There is no way for one straight month I get no hits or anything then all of a sudden I am bombarded with likes and chat requests. Nope. I was born at night, but not last night. Oh and when you subscribe as a member if the number ‘coins’ you have drops below 20 they will automatically charge your card to refill the coins!
Pros: I’m thinking way too hard to find a ‘pro’ for this site. I guess a ‘pro’ would be… nothing. Nothing good at all about this site. If there is something Jon Snow does know, it’s to stay away from this site.
Cons: Literally everything. If I were to interview a person named Zoosk and some random guy ran up and said “Fuck her right in the pussy” and ran away, I would have to agree with him. Although I’d probably not agree with ‘in the pussy’. Oh, also you ‘think’ you’ve deactivated your profile but find out months later that its still being used to send messages with a fake picture. Yes, real story. Please, stay away from this site.
Verdict: Anything is better than Zoosk. Stepping in dog shit while getting shat on by a bird is better than joining Zoosk. If you don’t believe me, search for Zoosk + scam + fake on google. You will see websites dedicated to bad business practices about Zoosk and hordes of forums filled with stories of how horrible and money grabbing nazi Zoosk is. Really.
Conclusions: What did I learn? Online dating sucks. Saying “Hi” or “What’s Up” as a first message is apparently a big faux pas. It’s as bad as going up to a woman in real life and saying “Hey you’re hot wanna fuck?”. Which is really retarded. Online, a woman refuses to respond to you if you say “Hi, how’s your day?” and in real life you’d get slapped with a sexual harassment lawsuit. Sigh. There are a lot of fakes and scammers on dating sites used to entice you to pay for services that the other person might not have. You can’t put down everything you are looking for in a potential match on your page because you’ll look like a douche. You can’t even put down minimally what you are looking for because you’ll still look like you don’t know what you want. You never know who is real or who is a fake/scammer. Overall I would say my experience was a mixed one. Not too good, but ok. Would I reccomend it? Only if you have the time and money. I would reccomend Match over the three because it is more legit and you actually have a choice on how to spend your money with them. If you are super ultra serious ‘I want to find a husband/wife in one year‘ then I suggest eHarmony. I signed up for it but its waaaaaaaaay too serious and I just don’t have the time to take landscape portraits of my adonis figure in a nice serene/action packed background (yes it is a requirement). Honestly, real life dating is tons easier than online dating. Maybe because I am old fashioned and I grew up in a time where PEOPLE ACTUALLY TALKED TO EACHOTHER instead of talking through a phone/computer. Ok I realize I just sounded old but I’m not, I’m just old fashioned. I’m not saying this because I didn’t find anyone or I encountered a lot of fake profiles. I’m being honest. I would rather love to find someone in real life and not through a computer dating site. Damn I guess I am old.